"If we hole up I want to be somewhere familiar, I want to know where the exits are, and I want to be allowed to smoke."
    - Ed, Shaun of the Dead (2004)

"That's not the pipes, Lionel. It's somebody doing the business."
    - Uncle Les, Dead Alive (1992)

"This is just what I wanted my son to see. Take him to work, get attacked by zombies. Your mother's gonna kill me."
    - Warden Mahler, Dead Men Walking (2005)

"How the hell come we stick these low life bastards in these big ass fancy hotels anyway? Shit man this is better than I got."
    - Wooley, Dawn of the Dead (1978)

"Maybe you should do me. I'll only muck it up if I have to do myself."
    - Liz, Shaun of the Dead (2004)

"You want me to salute that pile of walking puss? Salute my ass."
    - Captain Rhodes, Day of the Dead (1985)

"Zombies almost had my ass for dinner!"
    - Gang Leader, SARS Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis (2004)

"What do you think I am? A god damn doctor? I don't sell sedatives. Tranquilizers I do have."
    - Veterinarian, Dead Alive (1992)

"You say another word and I'm gonna shoot that jaw clean off your face. Then I'm going to take a sh*t in your chin hole."
    - Sherrif, Undead or Alive (2007)

"You shocked me, you bitch. I was defending myself."
    - Solitaire, Shadow: Dead Riot (2005)

"Mom, did you know that on several occasions he touched me? That wasn't true...made up. Shouldn't have done that, sorry."
    - Shuan, Shaun of the Dead (2004)

"The only person who could ever miss with this gun would be the sucker with the bread to buy it."
    - Peter, Dawn of the Dead (1978)

"You weren't very nice Mrs. Henderson, but I'm sorry you're dead."
    - Timmy, Fido (2006)

"They're all going to end up like that. Bio-mechanical weapons driven by meat batteries. Never have to be fed or recharged. They just keep going...going."
    - Military Scientist, Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)

"Okay, she's not even your ex-girlfriend anymore. She's a puddle of blood and guts..."
    - Blake, The Mad (2007)

"I'm quite all right Barbara, I ran it under a cold tap. We had our jabs when we went to the Isle of Wight. It's a lot of overblown nonsense, a lot of drug nuts running wild."
    - Phillip, Shaun of the Dead (2004)

"It contains a recombinant virus. It takes your DNA and deconstructs it and reshapes it. The results can be phenonomal, super human like...or hellish."
    - Jerry, Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005)

"This is a first class f**k job, warden. We're not some bureaucrat's holding tank for diseased sons of bitches."
    - Sweeney, Dead Men Walking (2005)

"Saw a porno flick once where this guy got so carried away he humped himself to death. Too much of a good thing."
    - Gravedigger, City of the Living Dead (1980)

"You got rid of those stiffs yet? I don't know what sort of kinky sh*t you're into, but I want those things buried."
    - Uncle Les, Dead Alive (1992)

"Two in the chest, one in the balls - that's what I say."
    - TSA Agent, Flight of the Living Dead : Outbreak on a Plane (2007)

"There's no longer anything else left to destroy in this world. Take me to the other side quick. What do you say man?"
    - Tak, Versus (2000)

"Even now you hold the secret of eternal life within you. You hold on to them, keeping me alone...alone in the dark"
    - Professor Curien, House of the Dead 2: All Guts, No Glory (2005)

"I would find such unusual paradox of tremendous appeal terribly stimulating if I were a sleuth."
    - Theresa, City of the Living Dead (1980)

"F**kin A. Biggest piece of meat in the cave. I don't want to excite the lady though. Not with her boyfriend around."
    - Private Steel, Day of the Dead (1985)

"It's all in the tongue."
    - Julie, Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)

"To beat death, you've got to know death."
    - Schatzi, Night of the Dead: Leben Tod (2006)

"God has fled. Hell reigns. Darkness prevails."
    - Priest, Shadow: Dead Riot (2005)

"We don't have time for this kind of sh*t. Those criminals...I'm gonna kill em all."
    - Fighter, Versus (2000)

"You wouldn't believe it he was throwing guards around like match sticks. Broke through a straight jacket."
    - Raker, Zombie Death House (1987)

"Perhaps we weren't properly introduced before. My name is Elsa Thorne, but you can call me bitch behind my back."
    - Elsa Thorne, Shadow: Dead Riot (2005)

"Here you come with a whole new set of charts and graphs and records. What you gonna do? Bury them down here with all the other relics of what once was?"
    - John, Day of the Dead (1985)

"Man I'm dealing with it, man I'm just dealing with it. Don't you worry about it. There's a lot to get done before you can afford to lose me."
    - Roger, Dawn of the Dead (1978)

"Stop! Don't try to kick so high. If you do, you can say goodbye to your virginity."
    - Gang Leader, SARS Wars: Bangkok Zombie Crisis (2004)

"Edward Marquis aka Shadow. Convicted of 22 counts of capital murder, including four police officers, twelve counts of rape, nine counts of double homicide - mothers and unborn children."
    - Narrator, Shadow: Dead Riot (2005)

"Bill, just because your father tried to eat you, does that mean we all have to be unhappy? Forever?"
    - Mrs. Robinson, Fido (2006)

"Cop: Pan the area. I want to see it all. Mall Security: Are you stupid or something? This is a video tape. How am I supposed to pan it?"
    - Mall Cop & Policeman, Bio Zombie (1998)

"Calm down? Dude, I'm fu**ing shot, a ground beef patty attacked my face, and I'm going to break out now because you poured olive oil on me."
    - Blake, The Mad (2007)

"You just keep twirling that little putter of yours, cause that's all you're gonna be twirling this trip."
    - Golf Pro's wife, Flight of the Living Dead : Outbreak on a Plane (2007)

"The only chance we have to contain this is to vaporize every living thing aboard that aircraft."
    - Pentagon General, Flight of the Living Dead : Outbreak on a Plane (2007)

"This could be the beginning of the ultimate contagium, the coming plague."
    - Jerry, Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005)

"They're coming to get you Barbara!"
    - Johnny, Night of the Living Dead (1968)

"The devil is amongst us. Stay back boy, this calls for divine intervention. I kick ass for the Lord!"
    - Father McGruder, Dead Alive (1992)

"Got no bananas here monkey ass. Keep walking."
    - Death Row Inmate, Zombie Death House (1987)

"Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills get up and kill."
    - Doctor on newscast, Dawn of the Dead (1978)

"I have given them the last rights, now you do what you will. You are stronger than us, but soon I think they be stronger than you."
    - Priest, Dawn of the Dead (1978)

"Sorry we have to leave you here, but it just ain't right to eat your wife's and daughter's brains. Plus you're really disgusting and I don't wanna spend any more time with you."
    - Luke, Undead or Alive (2007)

"Don't get smart with me doc. You know I'll snap your neck like a f**king pencil and make it look like an accident."
    - Mondo, Shadow: Dead Riot (2005)

"I believe that even the simplest chunk of flesh has every right in the world to be alive."
    - Dr. Gabriel Schreklich, Night of the Dead: Leben Tod (2006)

"Slow your roll doc. We both know that trick just got lucky. And if you don't stop flapping your gums, you're gonna be the next one taking a beat down."
    - Mondo, Shadow: Dead Riot (2005)

"I bet she was a looker when she was alive right? I mean she's not too bad now either. I'd stick my di*k in her, but I'm afraid what might happen."
    - Bart, House of the Dead 2: All Guts, No Glory (2005)

"I'd say I'm a pretty darned good father. My father tried to eat me. I don't remember trying to eat Timmy."
    - Mr. Robinson, Fido (2006)

"Look, you're the one who got me out in the armpit of the world chasing your galloping cadavers."
    - Peter, City of the Living Dead (1980)

"Damn that sushi boy. Saw a f**kin monster. I get a raging hard-on and nothing to do with it!"
    - Woody Invincible, Bio Zombie (1998)

"Zombies don't read. They ain't hooked on phonics. So give it a rest."
    - Griffin, House of the Dead 2: All Guts, No Glory (2005)

"I'm running this monkey farm now, Frankenstein, and I wanna know what the f**k you're doing with my time!"
    - Captain Rhodes, Day of the Dead (1985)

"I don't know what's happening to me. I'm not alive. I'm not dead. I'm just...I'm just so lonely."
    - Julie, Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)

"You got a little more time...a little more I ain't saying how much. But you better start showing me some results and you better not piss me off."
    - Captain Rhodes, Day of the Dead (1985)

"What about yours? Who died and made you f**king king of the zombies?"
    - Ed, Shaun of the Dead (2004)

"Your mother ate my dog!"
    - Paquita Maria Sanchez, Dead Alive (1992)

"I can smell. I've got a keen sense of smell like a dog. I'm a top breeder. I smell. "
    - Fighter, Versus (2000)