Ancient Zombie Discovered?

Tbilisi, Georgia - Tue, 6 Nov 2007

Researchers at Tbilisi State University in the capital city of Georgia have uncovered the near complete fossilized skeleton of a Homo erectus, estimated to be over 1.5 million years old. While the role of Homo erectus in the evolution of our species is still heavily debated among anthropologists, what is amazing about this particular specimen is that it was apparently a zombie.

Renowned zombie researcher Mikheil Zabolotnikov was part of the team that uncovered the remains, found deep in the sedimentation layers of the Mtkvari River near Tbilisi. They used a modified version of sonar technology device commonly used to find human bodies in deep water to locate the remains, but details of the device are being withheld from the public. Zabolotnikov was astonished at the pristine condition of the skeleton, and careful examination revealed several morphological attributes that were common to modern zombies. In particular the mandible and teeth showed remarkable similarity to human zombies. Zabolotnikov has also hypothesized that the state of being a zombie could be what preserved the skeleton so well in the sediment.

The news has stirred up much controversy in the scientific community, with the strongest criticism coming from those who believe Homo erectus is in a completely separate evolutionary chain from our species, and hence any comparisons of zombie morphology are moot. One such scientist, Sven Gotfrid from Stockholm University had an immediate reaction to the findings: "To claim a prehistoric zombie based on comparing unproven physical characteristics between unrelated species is dubious at best. Given that no other modern species besides our own has exhibited the capability of being undead, it is mere speculation to presume an ancient species was a zombie with such a paucity of evidence."