All is not "well" in Estelline

Estelline, TX - Wed, 24 Oct 2007

Volunteer firefighters spent several hours extracting a trapped zombie that managed to fall down a well at the Bar Z Ranch, located just outside Estelline, TX. But once freed from the well, the zombie's head was summarily blown off by the ranch's owner, Billy Buford. Authorities believe the corpse had wandered away from the Caprock Corpse detention camp located nearly one hundred miles west just outside Amarillo, however the identification chip was destroyed by Buford's gunshot. The Bar Z Ranch is renowned for its beef and the thousand head strong herd was likely a beacon for the zombie. How it became trapped in the well is unknown, but not surprising.

The small town of Estelline has been divided by the incident. Many voiced strong displeasure with Buford's actions because no reward can be claimed from Caprock for damaged goods. Members of the popular activist group Citizens Against Destruction And Violence Endangering Ravenous Zombies (CADAVERZ) have already issued a statement demanding prosecution of Buford for his unprovoked attack. But several locals have come to Buford's defense and say he was justified in killing the unwanted predator.

When asked why he shot the zombie with no apparent provocation, Mr. Buford answered, "I'll be damned if some rotten walking cesspool is going to soil my land!". County prosecutor Willy Bean has said that while he is sympathetic with those who feel the shooting was unnecessary, "I just can't charge a man for killing something that's already dead". Buford has repeatedly claimed he did what any rancher would do and refuses to issue an apology, but in a gesture of good will has offered to supply several cuts of prime beef to the volunteers who worked tirelessly to save the zombie from the well.

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