Diary of the Dead (2008)
Directed by George A Romero
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(Entertaining)
(Guts Galore)
Summary
George A. Romero’s fifth entry in his undying saga of the dead takes a low-budget, back-to-the–basics approach with mixed results. In the opener, police, paramedics and ambulance-chasing TV reporters arrive at the scene of a domestic murder-suicide. A strange case of “Dead-at-11” ensues when the deceased victims inexplicably wake up from their slabs and begin devouring the on-lookers. Cut to University of Pittsburgh student Jason Creed, his tough girlfriend Debra and assorted crew in the woods filming “The Death of Death”, a schlocky mummy movie for their senior class project. When the students learn of the escalating violence sweeping the city, they decide to get out of dodge and head for Scranton in their RV. Along the way, they encounter zombies at every turn, as Jason obsessively documents their terror on film. When the travelers spot several ghouls blocking the highway, they are forced to mow them down to escape. But guilt-ridden Mary attempts suicide, and the friends must rush her to a hospital, where they find the emergency ward infested with the undead. Later, they cross paths with an Amish farmer and militant looters, even as the zombie menace continues to spread. Eventually, they arrive at their rich kid friend’s isolated mansion, where more horrors await. Finally, the survivors are forced to seek refuge in a panic room, watching helplessly from the monitors while the relentless horde overwhelms the mansion.
Review
After Romero’s disappointing “Land of the Dead”, many fans were hoping for a return to the pervading horror that made his zombie series so great. There are some chilling moments in this installment, but an unconvincing, heavy-handed “film-within-a-film” narrative structure (“I’ve added music to scare you so you’ll understand”) and some awful sub-Cloverfield acting drags the movie down. Romero has always woven societal themes into the series—isolation, racism, class differences, consumerism—but this time his overindulgence in self-reflective social commentary undermines the suspense of the film. The filming in the woods, reminiscent of the crew chatter in “Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things” degenerates into Scream-like self-awareness. The writing is stilted throughout the film, mostly when preachy “What have we become?” dialogue rears its ugly head. Tedious lines like “It’s not real unless it’s on film,” and “This is a diary of cruelty,” are all the more annoying when delivered by terrible actors. Romero is no stranger to working with unknown actors, but here he seems unable to garner anything but hammy performances and unintentional comedy from the mostly young cast. On the plus side, Romero shows he’s still the master of zombie gore and creative set-pieces. There are a few moments of real horror, such as in the hospital scene and on the Amish farm, that are worthy of some of the series’ earlier entries. But sadly, by the time you reach the last scene in this death diary, you’re probably looking forward to reading the credits.
Zombie Traits
| Speed | 
(Sloth)
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| Intelligence | 
(Animal)
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| Strength | 
(Normal)
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| Zombie Source | Unknown |
They’re slow and unsteady, like a classic zombie should be—shuffling towards you with “the underlying threat of social satire.” But bad narration won’t save you. Only a clean shot to the head will put them down.
Best Zombie Kill
Honk Twice if You’re Dead. The students find a videotape that recorded how the victims died. As a dad is hosting a birthday party for his kids, a zombie in a clown costume shows up. Thinking it’s all part of the fun, the dad reaches out and honks the clown’s nose, only to see it fall off in his hand! Before he can react, the clown zombie decides to have his cake and eat it too—and tears the dad’s throat out.
Best Zombie Death
The Unluck of the Amish. When a hungry zombie sneaks up behind him to chomp on his neck, the Amish farmer bravely chooses death before dismemberment. He shoves a scythe into his own head, spearing the undead’s skull in the process.
Memorable Scene
Clear! In the hospital sequence, a female patient reanimates and attacks the students. Quick-thinking Debra grabs a pair of defibrillator paddles and gives her the shock treatment, blowing her eyeballs clear out of their sockets!
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