Dead Meat (2004)

Directed by Conor McMahon

Movie Review by Al Fleshrot

Summary
As the Mad Cow disease spreads across the Irish countryside, a particular mutated strain causes the cows to attack and infect humans - turning them into zombies! Tourists Helena and Martin rudely encounter one of the zombies with their car, and Martin is bitten in the neck. Helena runs to a farm for help, but it's too late. Martin the zombie attacks, but Helena escapes after dispatching him. She flees more zombies, running into the local gravedigger, Desmond. Together they fight their way to Desmond's house, but it's overrun with zombies too. Fortunately the coach Cathul and is woman Francie have a van nearby and they try to make it to safety. Alas, the van gets stuck in the mud. Zombies are everywhere, and Francie is pulled from the van by a mad cow. The other three flee on foot and head for an old castle. The get trapped inside by a horde of undead and make their last stand. Cathul and Desmond deal out some serious damage, but they fall to the zombies. Helena runs up some stairs and is at a dead end, but a band of zombie exterminators show up and take care of business. Helena is saved, only to be locked up with other locals in quarantine.

Review
For an extremely low budget production, this is a pretty kick-ass zombie movie. It has all the elements - lots of zombies, plenty of gore, and novel ways to kill the undead. The special effects are by no means professional, but there's plenty of blood, body parts, amputations to keep you satisfied. I'm always amused at how a zombie that can bite right through a skull can be impaled by any object available - like Desmond throwing his shovel like a spear with the blunt end of the handle going clean through a zombie, or Helena using her high-heel shoe like a ninja throwing star. The featured weapons are Desmond's shovel and Cathul's cricket bat and they get put to much use. Perhaps the funniest part of this film is Cathul ranting all the time in a thick Irish accent. I don't think I understood a damn thing he said except the oft used F-word!

Best Zombie Kill
Maybe not technically a zombie kill, but when the van is stuck in the mud the four survivors wait it out while zombies claw at the windows. Then they all leave and an eerie cow moo is heard getting closer and closer. Suddenly the cow smashes the driver side window and grabs Francie. It pulls her through the window, ready for a midnight snack!

Best Zombie Death
Helena runs for help when her friend Martin is bitten by a zombie. But when she gets to the farmhouse, the now undead Martin is close behind. He attacks her, and has her pinned to the ground. She jams a vacuum hose into his face and kicks on the power. His left eyeball gets sucked out of his head, followed by a long stream of gore - perhaps brain matter!

Memorable Scene
Batter up! When Cathul, Francie, Helena and Desmond are cruising in the van, they spot a zombie girl in a wedding dress meandering toward them. Cathul leans out the window with his bat and starts hooting and hollering. The zombie actually turns around and starts running away! Francie drives right by it and Cathul takes a wicked swing and caves in the zombie's skull. As they drive away Cathul and Francie laugh it up.

Al Fleshrot wants your brains

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